I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
