Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
