We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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