Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
