i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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