I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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