Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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