Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
