make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
