So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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