ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
