So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
