and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
