So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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