i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
