I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I want her autograph on my taint
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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