I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
