He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Houston, we have a squirter
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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