I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It was confusing and full of hummus
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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