Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
