4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
