I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
