this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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