Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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