i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
