When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
