And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
