i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize