Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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