She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
