i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
