I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You took a bar mat shot.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
