Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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