So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
