My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
