"it" just moved
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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