I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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