im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
