What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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