i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
