You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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