We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish you could order shots online.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
