I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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