when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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