ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
