big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
