it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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