He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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