Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
