this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Randomize
