How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
