found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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