This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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