Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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