Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize