I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wish life had little blips of pornography
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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