OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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