So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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