turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
