I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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