I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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