I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Randomize
