I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
