i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
