Im at strip club and am horny
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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