i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
