I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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