i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize