You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
