dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
